The Sense in Life

Xin: You know, I met this girl on a website, and I’m going to meet her tomorrow.
Me: Oh wow. That’s great, Xin.
Xin: Ya ya, she’s very kind and gentle. But I wonder, maybe she does not find me good looking enough.
Me: Xin, don’t worry. I believe that a girl finds that person attractive, who makes her laugh. So, just make her laugh, and you’ll be fine.
Xin: Oh oh, so you mean that if I make her laugh, I can make (her) love. Haha.
Me: Yes, I guess that’s one way of putting it. But how will you know about the love part from the laugh part?
Xin: That is difficult. I will need to measure my performance then. Maybe I will use some performance testing tool.
Me: Haha, you can do a memory test then. Every day, ask her if she remembers you. If she does, then there is no memory leak, if she doesn’t, then you need to fix the memory leak.
Xin: Ok, ok. That’s funny.

Me:  So, Xin. How did you like the experience today at the mosque? I’m interested in knowing what you think, since you offer the most unbiased view.
Xin: Well, over here everything is too formal. At the church I go to, it is more like a social gathering. There is a lot of music too, and people sing along.
Me: Oh yeah, I’ve heard about those kind of churches. Xin, have you ever thought about why people sing in churches?
Xin: I don’t know. Maybe to wake up God, and get his attention? I mean God has to listen to so many people. You need to grab his attention some how.

Xin: I will show you a picture of my goddess. See here.
Me: She is very beautiful Xin. Well done Xin, well done. So this is what you do all day? Stare at her picture?
Xin: Yes, I stare at it like a dog… drooling thinking of her.
Me: Xin, of all the ways to describe your affection! I don’t think you’d want to tell her how you feel when you look at her picture. She might get scared. You should say something romantic – I look at you like… like an astronaut looks at the earth.
Xin: Oh man, that is difficult. You know, there is this chinese saying – I love you like a mouse likes rice.
Me: Xin, what kind of a metaphor is that? Who would tell his girlfriend that he thinks of her like rice?

Me: So, what’s the plan for the weekend?
Xin: There is this chinese festival. All chinese people go to it with their family. My goddess is going too.
Me: Then go with her Xin.
Xin: No man… her family will be there. They will start asking – Who is this guy? Is he part of family?
Me: Don’t worry, Xin. You should go with your own family. Don’t you have that dog at home? Take him along.
Xin: No man… it is a chinese festival. The dog should also be chinese then.
Me: Then you’ll have to get a dog from China.
Xin: Yes, yes. I should import a dog from China and take him with me.
Me: I think you’re going to have a lot of trouble trying to immigrate a chinese dog to the USA. You’ll have to prove to the visa officer that the dog doesn’t plan to stay back here.
Xin: That’s difficult man. The dog will come here, eat the dog food here, then don’t want to go back.
Me: So then, you’ll have to convince the officer that the dog only likes chinese dog food. Or maybe that he has a dog house – a kennel in China that he wants to go back to.
Xin: Oh man, why should I take so much effort to immigrate a dog from China to go to a festival? There is a better idea, I won’t go.

Me: Hey, Xin! How come you’re picking up the phone in church? Didn’t your goddess tell you anything about not talking on the phone?
Xin: Oh man… I feel so sleepy. And she is not here right now so I feel even more sleepy.

Me: Cool. I just called up to ask if you’d be interested in joining me for a “Open faith” ramadan dinner party tomorrow at a mosque.
Xin: There is a party?

Me: Yeah, every year some of these mosques have an “Open House” dinner party where they invite people from other faiths to understand about Ramadan and Islam and also have some free food along the way.

Xin: They have this party every year? What should I wear for the party?

Me: You don’t have to wear anything special. Just come however you are.

Xin: Ok, ok. Yes, I’d like to go. But… I don’t have a mask. Do you know where I can find the mask?
Me: Huh? You don’t have to bring a… No, Xin! It’s not a mask party, it’s a “Mosque”.
Xin: Oh… ok, ok. So I don’t have to get a mask?

Me: It’s M-o-s-k… no, M-o-s-q-u-e. It’s like a church, but for Muslim people. So, think of it like I’m inviting you to a mosque lecture like your goddess invites you to church.
Xin: Yeah, yeah. I think I heard of the word. Probably… when I was doing my GRE, but man, that was a long time ago.

Xin: Oh man… I feel so sad.
Me: Why Xin? Didn’t you chat enough with your goddess last night?

Xin: Yea, yeah. But after all that chatting, now we don’t have anything left to talk about. It’s like a blank chat screen, and we’re just waiting for the other to say something. Then she says she has to sleep, and I say “Ok, good night”. And then I quickly log-off.
Me: Xin, I completely understand. This is why I’ve stopped chatting with people.

Xin: Oh man… when she reply quickly to my chat, I’m happy. But when she does not reply immediately, then I start to get sad. I start to think, What is she doing? Why isn’t she replying? Maybe I should call her and ask her.

Me: Yes, Xin. After every chat message, you should call her and tell her you sent her a message, and ask her to reply. Better idea, you should run to her house and bang on the door if she doesn’t reply quickly.
Xin: No man… that’s crazy. Better, I need to find new topics to discuss.